The Challenge

I wanted it.
I'd trained for it.
I had to win it.
But I didn't count on Jackson.

Memorial Day is about remembering those military men and women who have fought for our country.  To them I say, "Thank you, ladies and gentleman, for your service."

Across America, Memorial Day is also about boating, BBQ and beaucoup beer. In my California neighborhood it is also about putting out the American flag first. My neighbors and I could keep our flags up all day, every day and night, but we don't. That would be cheating. Last year I noticed how my 86 year-old neighbor had decorated his front yard in 76 mini flags before I could even get my one large flag displayed.

"Hey Harold, you're quick with the flag draw," I said pointing to his flag display.
"You have to get up pretty early to beat me to it," he said folding his arms across his chest.
"Are you challenging me?"
"I'm just saying: I'm always the first one in the neighborhood to put up the flag," he shrugged and shuffled off into his house. He was... gloating.

Challenge accepted, Harold. You. Are. Going. Down.

I prepped for our competition. For weeks I set my phone alarm for the crack of dawn. I practiced putting on my shoes while half asleep. I trained in lifting the flag like the soldiers of the Iwo Jima statue. Finally the big day arrived. The night before Memorial Day I pulled the flag out of the closet, propped it next to the kitchen door and dusted off its exterior flag mount on the front of the house. Fully prepared, I went to bed. On M-Day I rose at 5:45 AM, pulled on my clothes and shoes and peered outside. Harold's flag was not up. Ah-hah! I raced to the kitchen door sure of victory.

Unfortunately Jackson did not know that Harold and I had a serious competition going on at this hour of the day. Rather he thought I had arisen from a deep, snored-infused sleep to feed him his can of wet food. As I approached the kitchen door Jackson was threading his body in and out of my legs. How could I get outside with this cat tripping me up? I couldn't. Boom. I fell over the feline and landed in a downward-facing dog pose.

Walking my hands toward my feet I stood up, tore open the pantry and grabbed a can of salmon shreds cat food. Pulling off its seal proof top, I slid it in front of the cat like a deli's short order cook then resumed my flag competition.

Opening the door I rushed outside, grabbed the flag and sped to the front of the house. Unfurling the stars and stripes I stabbed the pole into its mount. A smile spread across my face. Success! I beat Harold! Then turning to my neighbor's yard, my stomach fell. Harold's flag was mounted and flapping in the gentle morning breeze. It looked beautiful. What didn't look beautiful was my second place finish.

But then I thought about it: flying the flag--whether you're first in the neighborhood or last--is about honoring our servicemen and women. Which means anyone who flies a flag is a winner. Or at least that's my consolation prize for this heart-breaking second place.

Wishing you a fun and thankful Memorial Day!



Want to read more? Get Alicia Bien's Award-Winning Book EVOLUTION OF A WINE DRINKER.

Battle of the Flags

"We need a flag," I said noting this on my To Do list.

"For flag football?" Mr. Wonderful said sipping his espresso.

"No, a U.S. flag to fly."

"What about the football?" 

Since moving into The House, I'd noticed that everything had its season. Football's ran every weekend from September to January, basketball's from January to May and soccer's 365 freakin' days a year. Flags too had a season. They came out on Memorial Day, returned for Flag Day on June 14 and reigned supreme on Independence Day. I had to get a flag.  

Why the sudden flag pressure? The neighbors. Every day Harold hoisted his flag and every afternoon he took it down again. As a veteran of the War of 1812, he should fly a flag every day. Every veteran should. And as a stay at home retiree he had the time to hoist and unhoist a flag every day. But on Old Glory's special days, he went flag overboard by pushing 100 mini flags among the petunias in his garden beds and along his driveway like a special landing strip for Air Force One. I had to get a flag. 

I went to the big box store and scoured their flag department. They had oodles of flags that were so cheap the promotion read: "Buy one flag get 115 flags FREE!" How could they make flags so cheaply? Looking at the label I realized they'd been made in the United States of China. Hmmm. Although I could have out-flagged Harold with a couple multi packs of these China-made flags, I wanted my flag made in America. I had to get a flag.

I headed to the mall and found a pop-up specialty shop just for flag season. They had all sorts of American-made flags. They had big ones, little ones, tall ones, small ones. All of them were mounted on a pole and were red, white and blue but they were missing something. What made a flag one that would outpace Harold's? It was the little ornament on top of the flag's pole like what had been in every classroom at my grade school. A superior flag needed a hood ornament. I had to get a flag.

I jumped in the car and it drove me--autopilot--to the hardware store--again. Among the nuts, bolts and toilet bowl plungers I found the flags--all of them were American, red, white and blue and topped with an eagle hood ornament. That's it! Now I will beat Harold with the finest flag in the neighborhood! I'd gotten a flag!

At home I hoisted the flag by slipping its pole into the holder. The flag flapped in the gentle breeze, the colors glowed, the eagle on top gleamed. I had the best flag! I won!

"Looks like you're keeping up with the Joneses," Mr. Wonderful said pointing out the flags hoisted outside the houses of Harold, Jerry, Charles and Stephen. All were the same size as ours, mounted on a pole and topped with an eagle. Everyone had gotten the same flag! Ours wasn't special. Ours didn't outpace Harold's or Jerry's or Charles and Stephen's. But maybe that's the point. The Fourth of July is not about having the best flag or even being the best. It's about all of us being equal and free in this country we share.

In my neighborhood we're equally ready to celebrate flag season!