Shiny, new and oh! So handsome!
I wasn't referring to Mr. Wonderful, my cat or Leonardo DiCaprio as "The Great Gatsby" although they all looked good in fur. I was talking about my fabulous new dishwasher. Even with all the amazing, articulate adjectives in the English language, I couldn't express how I felt about it because this was a love story--with romance and comedy--unlike any other.
The Romantic Comedy opens with a fun, spunky girl who's dating a big, loud jerk as wide as a refrigerator. The Frig doesn't deserve our girl but she's too nice to break it off with him. Ugh! They're so mismatched. Then the Frig dumps our fun, spunky girl! Can you say LOSER?
Our girl is sad for exactly two seconds then looks for a new
beau--online! Gone are the days of trolling bars, clubs and the Trader Joe's produce section to find the right guy. Now she can see potential
beaux's pictures and profiles while at home wearing her Hello Kitty bathrobe and fuzzy slippers.
Then she finds him! A guy named Ken Moore. She contacts him, they decide to meet in person. She goes to his crib--a place loaded with other available men but none as good looking as Ken. She is drawn to Ken's modern lines and strong, quiet nature. He to her fun, spunky personality. They are meant to be together! Can you say ROMANTIC?
But an Act Three problem surfaces when a Salesman glides across the showroom floor to tell her about another model he knows. This appliance is super quiet and very attractive but wow! So much more expensive. She pulls out her phone to google product reviews of both. She reads them all and gets more confused than following Ikea's how-to directions.
She leaves both appliances and exits the store. Perhaps she should forget Ken and go with the super expensive one because the most expensive is the best one, right?
Walking along the river with a gorgeous view of Downtown, Ken calls to her in a daydream. The spunky girl realizes she doesn't need the expensive guy who swooped in at the end. She needs the one she fell for initially--Ken! She runs down the street past her parked car because now we're at the end of Act Three and this is the moment of truth because this is when spunky girl runs like crazy to find Ken.
At the store, she embraces and kisses Ken, then hands over her credit card to buy him! Can you say COMEDY?
She loads him in her car and rolls him inside only to have Jackson sniff Ken all over like he's a salmon dinner. Mr. Wonderful gives Ken the once over approval then offers to hook up Ken. And Leonardo DiCaprio as "Gatsby"? Well he loves Ken because they both look good in fur.
Thank you New House Girl for waking me up. After reading this beautiful romance, I found myself roaming aimlessly in my kitchen. That's when I realized for all these years I'd been searching for a dish, to scrub, to soak, to wipe. But all along I knew that it was wrong, I knew I was better than that. My heart filled with pain as I looked at my cold stainless steel sink just waiting for me to drop another one of grandma's china plates from my soapy, slippery, chapped hands . Suddenly I realized my true desire, Yes... I longed to fill my own Mr. Ken Moore with my dirty pots and pans. And that's when I realized...I need damn dishwasher, not a man!
ReplyDeleteHi Sharmyn!
DeleteI'm happy to have been of service! Sometimes we fuddle in the dark until something miraculous happens like meeting Ken Moore. I hope you pick yourself the BEST Ken for you! Your dishwashing hands will thank you! Have a great day!
Alicia