Happy New Year's Eve!

Some people dislike New Year's Eve but I am not one of them. Any day that encourages drinking Champagne is okay by me! I love bubbles: Brut, Extra Dry and Sec!

But before celebrating the new year with Champagne, its bubbles and toasts, I need to take stock of my hopes for this year.

12 months ago I made resolutions to exercise more, recycle more and work on The House less. In actuality I exercised less, recycled some and worked on The House all the time. Hmmm, how very rogue of me.

Rather than beat myself up about my failed resolutions, I'll make some new ones including recycling the list from last year.

Whoa! I did it! I recycled something and fulfilled one of my 2013 resolutions! Hooray! My resolution list did not fail! Now I've earned the right to drink Champagne!

And here's a toast: Wishing you a prosperous, Happy New Year!

Men's Silences

“The holidays are cozy,” I said curled up in an armchair palming my mug of eggnog.

“It’s a good time of year,” Mr. Wonderful said throwing another log on the fire.

“No labor, no sweat.”

“Just fun times and good drinks.”

“But don’t you miss the… work?”

Silence.

Mr. Wonderful said a lot—in his silences. In fact the first six months we dated, he didn’t say a word. Of course that could have been because of me and my big, non-stop motor mouth that has to share every idea with those I care about to get their take on things and to see if we really are compatible because life and relationships are constantly in flux and by talking with each other we can air concerns and check in on with how each other’s doing and where we are heading in the grand scheme of things—

On second thought: maybe Mr. Wonderful was silent so much because I never gave him a chance to speak? ...Nah.

After a couple years of marriage I’d gotten very good at reading Mr. Wonderful’s silences. There was the silence of 1) Agreement; of 2) Disagreement; and of 3) I’m-not-going-to-touch-that-with-a-ten-foot-pole-greement.

Now this particular silence on this particular day between Christmas and New Year’s was clearly a Cat. #1 Silence—aka Agreement. Deep down I knew that he missed working at the studio, working on the house, working on the big hole in the backyard—aka the pool. Well lucky for him I had a DIY project to do!

“The kitchen cabinet interiors need to be painted.”

“Why? No one sees them.”

“I do. Every day.”

Silence.

Another silence. Wow. Mr. Wonderful was super talkative today!

When we’d moved in to The House we were so busy with our jobs and getting settled we were forced to make choices. We'd decided to paint the kitchen cabinets on the outside but not the inside. When I had lamented this choice, Mr. Wonderful countered by saying how it didn’t matter since “no one sees the inside.”

“I do. Every day,” I’d said then. He responded with a silence. Comparing our move-in exchange to our current one I realized they were exactly the same, which meant painting cabinet interiors was vitally important to me while he embraced a Cat. #2 silence—aka he totally disagreed.

How could I have not heard what he’d said then? How could I have not heard his wishes? How could I hear what his silences said if he was so dang quiet?! Ever since the Fourth of July, we’d both been busy with work, working and workers. That’s it! We were disagreeing about this DIY project because for months we just hadn’t spent enough time together. Luckily I had a plan for that!

“Let’s paint the inside of the cabinets together!”

Silence.

Incredible! He'd heard me! Now Mr. Wonderful was screaming this silence! And it was the mother of them all: a Cat. #3—aka I’m not getting involved PERIOD.

“Thanks for telling me what you want,” I said hugging Mr. Wonderful. “I’ll paint it myself.”

Silence. More Cat. #3 from my spouse! Amazing! We were having a fabulous conversation!

The New Year and its resolutions were still a few days away but here at the tail end of 2013, I realized two I’d put on my 2014 list:

1) Get some brushes, sandpaper and white paint.

2) Have more silent conversations with Mr. Wonderful!

Merry Christmas!

Finally! Christmas is here! And my gifts were a success!

Mr. Wonderful loved the wine. In fact he opened a bottle right away to "test" it.

My 86 year-old neighbor liked the Eiswein I gave him. Or at least Harold didn't throw it away in front of me.

Jackson the cat pawed his wine cork "toy" once before attacking the wrapping paper and chasing his tale for an hour. How we laughed! Why did I even bother getting the cat a gift?

As for me, being with my loved ones was the best gift I got this year.

Merry Christmas!
 

Magical Christmas Eve...

It's Christmas Eve! I love this day with it's last minute shopping, baking, wrapping.

I relish how Christmas Eve is the last day of Great Expectations before tomorrow's presents, eating and unwrapping…

Enjoy today's excitement! Merry Christmas Eve!

Jingle Bells

“The Christmas tree looks good,” Mr. Wonderful said admiring the evergreen I’d decorated in the living room.

“What about these?” I said swooping my arm toward the fireplace.

“The stockings are a nice touch.”

“And this?”

“Mistletoe? You’re thorough—”

“What about the plants I decorated outside?!”

“Have you lost your mind?”

Deck the halls with boughs of holly! Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la! Christmas! It’s the only time of the year you can go overboard decorating every room, window and cubby hole with festive lights, tinsel and bells and everyone loves it… except Mr. Wonderful. Unlike the rest of the universe, Mr. Wonderful is not a fan of decorations although he does tolerate a turkey in November, some pumpkins in October and piles of tax receipts before April 15. So with Christmas, he liked the simple approach. In other words: zilch.

This lack of decorating was a problem because well, I loved it! How could I convince him that decorating every plant, bough and twig was the thing to do at this time of the year? A string of lights flashed in my brain! Of course!

“We have to decorate the exterior of our house because the neighbors do,” I said marching out the front door. 

“Who does that in our neighborhood?”

“Jerry!” I said swooping my arm toward our San Franciscan neighbor with the endless strings of red, green and white lights, which traced the outline of his house, including mailbox, gutters and outdoor electrical outlets. 

“You have a point,” he said shaking his head in defeat. Ah-ha! I clapped my hands and rubbed them together in anticipation of wrapping white lights around our palm trees—each one 60 feet tall!

“On second thought, maybe we shouldn’t decorate the outside,” Mr. Wonderful continued. “Since Harold doesn’t.” He swooped his arm toward our 86 year-old neighbor’s house and sure enough, the only festive thing Harold had up was the U.S. flag, which was more in keeping with the Fourth of July than X-mas, Jolly Saint Nick or fa-la-la-la-las. 

Drat. Now Mr. Wonderful had a point. Jerry’s decorations cancelled out Harold’s lack thereof and I was back to square one, otherwise known at this time of the year as the First Day of Christmas.

I needed to find another rationale for Christmas decorations. Christmas! That’s it! Of course!  I turned to Mr. Wonderful.

“We have to put Christmas decorations on the exterior of our house because it’s just for these few, special weeks a year.”

“Hmmm.” Mr. Wonderful said crossing his arms. “I’ll agree to that if you’ll let me not decorate for 52 weeks a year.”

“But that doesn’t make sense.”

“Neither do Christmas decorations.”

Now I’m not a lawyer but his logic was illogical, unconstitutional and not mathematical. If I let him not decorate for 52 weeks, then it would prevent me from decorating for my two weeks. 

No, I needed some how, some way, some thing, to convince Mr. Wonderful that I should display my tasteful, festive Christmas decorations to the world. Something! Of course!

“Jackson!” I entered the house calling our fierce some feline. A bell tinkled and Jackson trotted up to me.

“What happened to the cat?!” Mr. Wonderful said in shock.

“I decorated him for Christmas,” I said petting Jackson’s fur as he rubbed up against my leg the whole time the little bell on the red ribbon around his neck jingling and jangling. “What do you think?”

Mr. Wonderful rubbed Jackson’s ears, the bell tinkling with each turn of the cat’s head. “If he doesn’t mind being decorated,” Mr. Wonderful said. “Knock yourself out decorating the house.”

Then I kissed both my guys, under the mistletoe. Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Christmas Decorations--New

"Which one do you like?" I asked holding up a silver snowman and a gold snowflake.

"Do I have to?" Mr. Wonderful said rolling his eyes in the busy Christmas aisle of the local holiday store.

"It's a tradition worth continuing."  

"But I don't want one."

"I want you to want one."

"I was afraid of that." 

Ahhh, Christmas. It's the only time of the year that I buy frivolous things like blenders, mixers and a wedding anniversary gift for my spouse and me. Growing up, I received a new ornament every year and I decided--yesterday--to restart the tradition this year in our new house. Which meant that I needed a new ornament, Mr. Wonderful needed a new ornament and my car needed a new hood ornament. 

Okay, maybe "need" was pushing things a little too far. So if I didn't "need" one, at least I really, really wanted one with a cherry and whip cream on top. To make me feel better about buying superfluous things, I was insisting that Mr. Wonderful also get an ornament. It was with this latter element that I erred on several fronts: 1) I took a man shopping; 2) I did this during the holiday rush; 3) I wanted him to choose a decoration?! Had I gone mad?!

Mr. Wonderful is many things: handsome, dependable, talented, handy, funny, charm-- But I digress. My point is, Mr. Wonderful is many things except a decorator. He does not like frou-frou decorations and the only thing he dislikes more that frou-frou decorations is being forced to buy frou-frou decorations on a busy Saturday at the mall 10 days before Christmas. Suddenly I felt guilty for dragging him here.

"If you want to forget this and go home, do it," I said with a shrug.

"Great!" he said pulling the car keys out of his pocket and bee-lining for the mall exit. Oh, no! If I didn't stop him he'd be gone, I'd have to get his and my ornaments and then bum a ride home from Santa or one of his elves because having seen the carnaval-like atmosphere at the mall with frantic shoppers and different Christmas tunes blaring from every different store, my spouse would never return to the mall to pick me up. I'd be stuck there with "Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer" into infinity. I needed to do something fast.

"Before you go, pick out your own ornament." He stopped in his tracks.

"You want me to pick out an ornament?"

"I know you hate frou-frou decorations."

"But I hate frou-frou decorations."

"Just get whatever you want." His eyes locked on mine and he paused. For six full seconds.

"I'll only get an ornament if Jackson gets one, too." 

In this world there are givers and takers and I was a definite giver, helping my family, friends, and complete and utter strangers. There wasn't a taking bone in my body. But our tuxedo cat, Jackson, he was a serious taker. He took food, toys and all of our attention at all hours of the night and day meowing incessantly until he got petted, brushed and stroked enough to his liking. It was enough to turn Mother Theresa over in her grave. Why should we get our cat an ornament? 

"Deal?" Mr. Wonderful said sticking out his hand. Try as I might, I couldn't be stingy at this time of the year, not even toward the ultimate feline taker.  

I shook my spouse's hand and he disappeared among the ornament racks looking for the ideal ornament, looking for something that spoke to him. Meanwhile I spun the rack looking for something for Jackson, when BOOM! I found it! It was an ornament with a cat on it that totally summed up Jackson's taker life and luxury lifestyle. 

Just then Mr. Wonderful returned grinning. He'd found an ornament for himself.

"That was fast," I said being infected with Mr. Wonderful's excitement. "Let's see it." He held up a papier mâche ball.

"It's not frou-frou," he said. "Plus I can fix it up anyway I want it to. Although I sort of like it just as it is."

"It's perfectly you." I said admiring the simplicity of his ornament and taste. "Here's Jackson's," I said holding up a confection with a beret-wearing cat on a settee covered in glitter. Mr. Wonderful laughed. 

"It's so luxurious, frou-frou and totally him!"

With ornaments bought and mission accomplished, we left the busy mall holding hands to go decorate our tree. And our tree wasn't frou-frou at all.

Christmas Decorations--Old

"Look at this one," I said removing an ornament from the box marked "Christmas".
"It's… uh, well… it's unique," Mr. Wonderful said sipping his espresso.
"I painted it myself."
"How old were you?"
"20."
"O-kay."

It's Christmastime, that wonderful time of the year when we celebrate the season of giving with eggnog, mulled wine and 316 local performances of "The Nutcracker". Even if Mr. Wonderful were giving me grief about my hand-painted ornament, I could take it because I enjoy Christmastime. My mom and grandmothers preferred this holiday above all others and instilled in me an appreciation for the sights, sounds and decorations of this festive season. Although they failed to give me any painting skills.

Every year when I was a kid, my parents bought me a new Christmas tree ornament. Some years the ornaments were elegant, other years they were creative, funny or so-so place holders. Each one serves as a marker of a childhood.

Now in my own home, I unpacked these ornaments and hung them on a tree.

Here are some of my ornament highlights.

Every tree should have a nutcracker. This mini version even has a mouth that opens and closes to crack any nuts tiny enough to fit in his pie hole.

One of the joys of Christmas is making things with your own hands--like sugar cookies, wreaths and ornaments. Here's a hand-painted one of a rhinoceros. Although rhinos are not the cuddliest or most Christmasy of animals, growing up I really liked them and have several rhino ornaments. I still like this one even if Mr. Wonderful was underwhelmed by the painting.

Christmas ornaments needn't be just angels, lowing sheep and virgins. I also liked this one of "Mater" the pickup truck from the Cars movie.

But at the end of the day, the simple ornaments are the best. This one remains a perennial favorite.

Hoping you deck your tree in style!

Wine Gift Ideas

This year I'm giving everyone on my Christmas list wine-related gifts.

Mr. Wonderful is getting wine. He already has a lot, but more won't hurt him. Or me!

My 86 year-old neighbor, Harold, will get a bottle of sweet eiswein. Maybe it will sweeten him up?

Jackson the cat will get a cork cat toy, which I know he will write me a kind "thank you" note for and cherish for many years to come.

If you're looking for wine gifts for Christmas, check out these wine-y ideas!

Cheers!

Giveaway Books Given Away

The Goodreads giveaway for my book, Evolution of a Wine Drinker, has ended. Which means there are five people who will now get a signed copy of my book. I hope they like wine…

Just so they know, and you know, and they know that you know: the books are in the mail!

I hope the packages arrive by Christmas! If not, we'll blame snow, international customs, and more international snow.

Thanks to everyone for participating in the Giveaway! Your enthusiasm for my book got me so jazzed that I want to Deck the Halls with… Wine!

Happy Holidays!

Yosemite: Summer VS. Autumn; A Scientific Experiment

TITLE: Summer or Autumn: When is the best time to visit Yosemite?

BACKGROUND:
"A thing of beauty is a joy forever," declared John Keats in the opening line of his poem Endymion (1818). But come now. Was this declaration really true? Was a beautiful thing beautiful all the time, 365 days a year, forever and ever, into infinity? I had my doubts. Case in point, when I get my hair cut it looks, if not beautiful at least pretty good, I'd even say "above average". But six weeks later it's an unruly mess that doesn't register on the scale of "pretty", "good" or even "below average".

No, my fellow scientists! I had to test Keats' belief with my own scientific test.

This fall Mr. Wonderful and I visited Yosemite National Park and between the fall colors and sunny weather we found it a thing of beauty. However, everywhere we hiked in the park--Bridalveil Fall, Yosemite Fall, just around the "fall" air--everyone kept telling us to come back in the summer when the waterfalls would be running, the weather would be warm and it would be super beautiful.

QUESTION:  Were they right? In Yosemite, was summer more beautiful than fall? I had to know and the way I would discover this was not by blindly accepting what they said as truth. What a concept! Rather I would determine this myself by examining the cold, hard facts of science. A-ha!

METHODS AND MATERIALS:
First, I had to determine how I would test my Question. The most scientific way would be by taking a scientific sampling of the scientific subjects. In other words, ask people their opinions. During our autumn trip, I posed my question to Mr.Wonderful, the Ahwahnee Hotel Clerk and the chipmunk I saw on a rock. They all agreed that fall was the prettiest time to visit Yosemite. However being caught up in the moment, were people--and chipmunks--just saying that fall was the most beautiful time because it was here and now? What if I returned in the summer and put forward the same question? Would people--and Chip and Dale--say the same thing about summer then? Hmmm.

I determined that my first method was tainted by personal opinions. No, fellow scientific thinkers, I needed to use solid facts to determine if fall was more beautiful in Yosemite than summer and the best way to do that was by playing Rock, Paper, Scissors with Mr.Wonderful. After several games where I rocked his scissors and he papered my rock, I discovered that this method was creating skewed data because Mr. Wonderful was still voting for "fall" whenever he won. Hmmm.

Because of Mr. Wonderful's commitment to the beauty of fall, this second technique wouldn't work either. No, my fellow, hard science thinkers, I needed a new method to collect unbiased data to compare these seasons visually. Eureka! I could use my pictures! Since I'd been to Yosemite both in the summer and the fall I could use my own photographs to compare that one special place in two different seasons to determine if beautiful Yosemite was beautiful all year long. Or not.

DATA AND RESULTS:
In the summer deer were present eating green grasses and leaves. Although they were a bit skittish since their food was as plentiful as shopping at CostCo.

In the fall, deer were abundant along the hiking trails where they had come out of the forests to graze. Busy eating what they could find in the proverbial couch cushions, they were completely unperturbed by us visitors.

The summer meadows were lush with sylvan green hues.

The fall meadows were painted in colors of steel, amber and gold.

In the summer the falls--Yosemite and Bridalveil--gushed thousands of gallons of water a minute.  

In the autumn the falls--Yosemite and Bridalveil--were trickles of water, as if someone forgot to shut off the tap.

The Merced River was warm enough to paddle down in a raft wearing a bikini.

The Merced River was too narrow, shallow and frigid for anything except gazing at it.

In summer, El Capitan was grand but a little foggy.

In the fall, El Capitan was just grand.

Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm.

CONCLUSION: Each season had its high peaks and low valleys. The summer had the water and fog but the fall had little water but all those rich colors. Taken together however, Yosemite, was a thing of beauty in the summer and the fall. Yes, Mr. Keats, I agree!

There was one hitch to my method: I only looked at two of the four seasons. Therefore, I was unable to discuss the park in the winter or the spring. Hmmm. Never fear, fellow scientists! That just means I have to make two more trips--in winter and spring--to Yosemite National Park--all in the name of science and beauty!

Book Giveaway

Are you on Goodreads?
You want to be on Goodreads?
Here's a reason to be on Goodreads!

Goodreads.com is a popular website just for book lovers and readers. Through it I'm hosting a Giveaway of my book Evolution of a Wine Drinker! Enter to win one of the five signed copies by clicking on the link below; then at the Goodreads site, click the "Enter to Win" button.

The Giveaway ends December 10, just in time for Christmas, so enter soon!

As I say at the betting windows at the racetrack, I've got to be "in" it to "win" it. Make sure you're "in" on my wine book Giveaway!

Thanks and good luck!

Yosemite Sam!

Yosemite!

It's amazing how this one name conjures up so many things. Specifically: 1) A gorgeous National Park; 2) Getting back to nature; 3) The first half of Sam's nickname.

So when Mr. Wonderful and I took off to the Sierra Nevada to see Yosemite! we were hoping to see all these elements and more.

We saw Half Dome, the half of a granite mountain that is the iconic symbol of Yosemite. This unique, 5,000 foot high rock formation was made famous by Ansel Adams and annually attracts countless adventurers to climb all 5,000 feet of it. We did not climb it because we are not that adventurous.

We saw the granite mountain, El Capitan. Anything called "El Capitan" tells you it's important. The only mountain more important than this one is "El General". But we didn't see it because it was spending the weekend in Vegas playing Blackjack.

We saw Bridalveil Fall. In November, the highest waterfall in North America is still the highest, but it's less impressive in the Water-Flow Department. Actually, the waterfall is more of a tiny trickle.

 Mr. Wonderful saw a mule deer up close and personal. I don't know who was more shocked at being so close to the other--the deer or the dear Mr. Wonderful.

We saw a male mule deer with a rack of antlers on his head that put every princess tiara to shame. His points were so impressive and slightly scary, especially when he looked at me head on. Although deer attacks are rare, I didn't want to be the first one of the year to be attacked by one of Bambi's parents.

We saw so many natural wonders and beautiful animals in Yosemite! But we had one grand disappointment: We did not see Yosemite Sam. And believe me, I looked and looked for him.

Nevertheless, if you love nature, camping, Ansel Adams photography and want to have your breath taken away several times a day, go to Yosemite National Park! Just don't expect to see Sam when you're there.

Ahhh, Yosemite!

New Purchase

With all the busy-ness of Thanksgiving and Black Friday, I gave myself a treat and bought a new bud vase.

It's the perfect vessel for this lovely bouquet I received from Flower Fortunes!

It makes for a bright light on a gray day!

Coming, Going, Gone!

Face it: Thanksgiving is the best holiday! 

There aren't any lines, gifts, or gift returns. At least there shouldn't be. 

Instead Thanksgiving focusses on being with family and friends, eating, drinking and beating everyone at Pétanque! I do admit that I have a home court advantage.

Every other day of the year you can hustle, work and wish for what you want. But on Thanksgiving you take stock and give thanks for what you already have. 

Like good food.

A dressed turkey.

A cooked turkey.

Not dropping the turkey.

It's best to enjoy Thanksgiving for what it is. Because just like that--poof!--it's over! 

I'm thankful for my family, friends, readers, fellow writers, beating everyone at Pétanque, and my home court Pétanque advantage! Happy Thanksgiving!

Wines for Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving turkey? Check!
Cranberry relish? Check!
Wine? No check!

You don't have your wine picked out for Thanksgiving Dinner yet? Before running around like a turkey with its head cut off, do yourself a favor and check out these Thanksgiving dinner wine ideas.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sprucing Up the Palm Tree: BEFORE and AFTER

"The palm tree looks bare," I said pulling on my gardening gloves.
"Palm trees are bare," Mr. Wonderful said looking up from his manga comic book.
"The tree's so tall you can't see its foliage."
"Palm trees are tall."
"It looks like a utility pole."
"Palm trees are unity poles!"

Mr. Wonderful was good and correct at many things especially digging trenches, breaking up concrete and reading a whole 20-volume manga comic book series in 2.6 seconds. He was also correct that our palm tree was a utility pole since the cable company had attached its cable to it with a hook and nail. And yes my spouse was correct that our Mexican Fan Palm tree was tall; 70 feet, to be exact. And oh, alright! He was also correct that palm trees were void of foliage unless you craned your head back, grabbed a telescope and looked at Venus and then a little to the right. 

But still! Such a tall, bare utility pole could be beautiful if I just added some colorful foliage to make it look more like a tree and less like the leg of an elephant. Albeit a very tall elephant. 

My first thought was Bougainvillea. Who doesn't love the fuchsia pink petal-like leaves of that gorgeous plant? Just imagine I'd have a palm tree wrapped in a pink confection like a princess or upside-down stick of cotton candy. Of course I'd have to fight the thorns because every thing of beauty has a sharp side, like roses, cacti and pop music stars with their security details.  

On second thought, I could go with green ivy. Ivy grows everywhere and up anything, if I really wanted something at my eyesight to look at, I could wrap my tree in ivy and presto! Get a lot of leafy foliage to look at. Of course the tree would resemble the Jolly Green Giant, or worse, a verdant version of Chewbaca from Star Wars. Grrrrrfff!

On third thought, I could go with something cool and laid back. Cool as in blue-colored and laid back as in low maintenance. That's it! I had me at "low maintenance".

I opted for Senecio vitalis "Serpents", which is just a fancy Latin name for Blue Chalk Sticks. I planted the little blue succulents around the base of the tree and ran a drip hose around them. Just because they're succulents doesn't mean they don't need a little moisture. Then I showed Mr. Wonderful.

"The palm tree's still bare," Mr. Wonderful said looking at its trunk.
"Palm trees are bare," I said taking off my garden gloves.
"The tree looks like a utility pole."
"Palm trees are unity poles!"
"The little blue things around the base are cool."
"You like them?" my heart skipped a beat.
"They're cool looking."
"And they're low maintenance."
"Cool," he said patting my shoulder.

Cool and colorful indeed!

A Big Success!

"Are you going to forget what to do?"Mr. Wonderful said putting the box of books in the trunk.
"Nope," I said clutching the car keys.
"Are you nervous?"
"Nope."
"Have you ever done this before?"
"Nope!"

All week the calmer I was, the more nervous Mr. Wonderful grew. Until now, the night of my first book signing, Mr. Wonderful had morphed into a mess of nerves acting like a skittish colt before running the the biggest race of its life at Churchill Downs, and I was like a Zen Buddhist monk saying "Om"and eager to get a glass of wine in my hands. Because that's what Buddhist monks do, they say "Om" and hold glasses of wine in their hands.

This week was the very first event for my book, Evolution of a Wine Drinker. It took place at V Wine Room and included me reading an excerpt from my book, signing copies of the book and pouring glasses of wine for friends and attendees.

While Mr. Wonderful was home pacing in the pasture, I was living it up with a wonderful night of sharing my book with some funny comedy friends, some charming wine group friends and some new newly-made newbie friends. It was wonderful!

I was so thankful to the gals who spearheaded the event, V Wine Room for hosting and to everyone who came out for it! Thank you all for your support!

I was especially happy that my dear writer friend Gayle Carline could come. She'd driven six hours in her work clothes to get there. Okay, maybe it just felt like six hours because driving anywhere in Los Angeles feels like six hours. As a fellow writer, I appreciated her words of wisdom.

"If you're nervous, drink a glass of wine," she said.
"What if I'm not nervous?"
"Then still drink a glass of wine!"

I embraced Gayle's advice wholeheartedly. In fact I embraced my friends and everyone who attended.

Back at the house Mr. Wonderful met me in the driveway. I guess he'd been pacing the length and breadth of our property the whole time I'd been away.

"Did you forget what to do?" he said lifting the box of books out of the trunk.
"Nope," I said clutching the car keys.
"Were you nervous?"
"Nope."
"Will you do it again?"
"YES!"

A Gazillion and One Things!

"The stucco guy is coming today," I said tapping my pencil and reading my to-do list.

"Yes," Mr. Wonderful said putting another coffee pod in the espresso machine.

"I have to buy Thanksgiving decorations for the house."

"Maybe."

"Walgreen's is selling Christmas merchandise already."

"No!" 

I loved my spouse but Mr. Wonderful's "shock" at the ever-encroaching Christmas shopping season was over the top. But that's because I knew his reaction was feigned and honestly? I'd already had my morning teapot of caffeine. He just didn't understand why I was so worked up about the retailers this year. I explained to him how everything had a season and the coo-coo crazy, rush-rush of Christmas shopping, office parties and buying/returning gifts would arrive soon enough. But since it was still November, we should enjoy this time for its autumn leaves, brown turkeys and red wines. Actually red wines were apropos all year long. I'm very accepting of red wines. And white wines, Champagnes, Amarettos, Calvados and hot toddys with rum. 

Don't get me wrong, I loved Christmas, St. Nick, reindeer, Tiny Tim and thinking of others but I didn't want to do all that until after the turkey was stuffed, cooked and eaten, which by my calendar, was still a week a way.

Plus, the truth of the matter was that since Mr. Wonderful and I were hosting Thanksgiving Dinner at our house this year, I had a gazillion and one things to do for Thanksgiving (don't forget that "one thing"!) before I could even get to Christmas. Hence my admonition to keep the Christmas season curtailed until after Thanksgiving Day. 

My Thanksgiving preparation plans included: 1) Writing up a food list that would be as long as Santa's Naughty and Nice list; 2) Writing up a list of drinks for the day including before dinner drinks, after dinner drinks and making-dinner drinks for the chef (make it a double!); 3) Driving to the respective food and drink stores to do reconnaissance; and 4) Finding decorations to put in my house to celebrate turkeys, cooking and Pilgrims when all that was available were Christmas wreaths, Christmas ornaments and Christmas Eggnog with hot toddys. Okay, that last one was fine in my book. 

I also had the stucco guy coming to the house to repair the gaping hole in the exterior of the house. I had to get that hole patched and painted before Thanksgiving dinner and with less than a week, I was running out of time.

"It's just another day," Mr. Wonderful shrugged.

"Thanksgiving is another day like a Tesla is 'just' a car," I said pouring more tea.

"You're acting frantic," Mr. Wonderful said as I downed a third pot of Gun Powder Chinese Green Tea.

"Don't you understand?" I said, my face twitching from all that Gun Powder Green Tea. "I have a gazillion and one things to do before Thanksgiving! And I can't forget that one thing!" Then I grabbed paper, pen and shopping bags and marched toward the door.

With the door wide open we both watched as another element of November happened outside: it started to rain. A lot. A monsoon-like downpour. This would not be a problem in the rest of the world but if you live in Los Angeles you either never learned or have completely forgotten how to drive in the rain, which meant that: 1) Driving to the grocery store for reconnaissance Thanksgiving shopping was impossible (unless I wanted to end up in a fender bender in the street); 2) Driving to the wine shop to buy the Turkey Day beverages was a no go (unless I wanted to end up in a ten car pile up in the parking lot); and 3) The stucco guy couldn't repair our gaping hole today. Argh! I had a gazillion and one things to do and now I couldn't do any of them!

"Want to go for a walk?" Mr. Wonderful said.

"In the rain?" He pulled his golf umbrella from the closet and we went out in the rain. We saw the brown leaves scattered on the ground like fairy dust, we saw bare-limbed trees reaching for the sky and directly over our heads we saw the garnet and gold colors of the umbrella. I squeezed Mr. Wonderful's arm. I had a gazillion and one things to do before Thanksgiving but right now I had remembered to do that "one thing": Enjoy this time.

She Did It!

"She did it," I said reading my computer screen.
"She who?" Mr Wonderful said looking up from his graphic novel.
"She made it."
"Made what?"
"It worked!"
"Worked what?!"

We married each other, bought a house together and were fixing up said house together yet Mr. Wonderful just couldn't get on the same page with me. It was totally clear what I meant and as my spouse and the man who promised to love, honor and read my mind, he should know exactly what I was referring when I looked at my computer screen.

"Are you watching a cat video," he said, a forefinger saving his page in the graphic novel.
I waved him over and showed him what had grabbed my attention: my friend Gayle Carline's blog post. When New Yorkers think of Southern Californians, they think of an air-head, surfer type, which is the polar opposite of who Gayle is. Like totally, Dude.

First off, Gayle is not a dude. Second, 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th, she's smart, funny, a talented horsewoman and uber busy writer. She writes a weekly humor column for the newspaper as well as a light-hearted series of mysteries set in Orange County. Seventh, she's gutsy because after I posted a "miraculous" chicken and rice recipe on my blog, this blonde dame with moxie tried it. Gayle made my recipe!

"How'd she do?" my spouse asked patting his empty belly.
"You'll have to read here to find out!"

Congrats, Gayle! Thanks for making it and reporting back!

If anyone else makes either the chicken and rice or my shrimp and lemon pasta recipes, please let me know! I'd love to hear--and see a picture--of how they turned out!

Bon Appetit!

Wine Tasting & Book Signing!

If you love comedy, wine and books--or even if you just "like" them--and you'll be in Los Angeles next Tuesday, you are welcome to a special Wine Tasting and Book Signing event!

What: Wine Tasting of red wines AND a reading from my book Evolution of a Wine Drinker in one night!

Where: V Wine Room; a classy, fun wine room that is housed in Charlie Chaplin's former actor's studio. If you want more Little Tramp facts, ask V's owner, Mikey!

Address:
V Wine Room
903 Westbourne Drive
West Hollywood, CA 90069

When: November 19, at 7:30 PM.

Who: You and Me!

Just in case you need a little nosh, V Wine Bar also has food items on the wine menu!

This is going to be a fun night of comedy and wine!

I hope to see you there! PROST!

Chicken and Rice--Recipe

Food. We have to eat it three times a day; but that three times a day adds up to hours of slicing, dicing and preparing meals. My goal is to cook a healthy dinner as efficiently and quickly as possible so I don't feel put upon and Mr. Wonderful has something good to eat when he comes home. I made this recipe for him, his three colleagues and me. I also had a little interspecies help from Jackson.

INGREDIENTS: feeds 5

Rice; 2 dry cups (plain, not Jasmine or any other flavored rice)

Water; 4 wet/fluid cups for the rice (American measurements are so confusing) 

Chicken legs; 10 (they cook faster than chicken breasts and aren't too large so guests can eat one or two without feeling piggy. Or maybe I'm talking about me feeling piggy?) 

Soup stock; 2 cubes (Use to flavor the rice. I use the low salt or sea salt stock varieties)

Bread crumbs; 1/2 cup (In advance, I grate hardened rice flour bread or rye flour bread and store the crumbs for just this type of impromptu dinner. Plus I like knowing all the spices used in the bread crumbs--in this case zero)

Onions; 2 diced 

Celery; 6 stalks diced
Carrots; 5 peeled and diced

Ground coriander; 2 teaspoons

Cumin; 2 teaspoons

Saffron; 1/2 teaspoon. (This will color the rice yellow and is purely used for cosmetic purposes and therefore not necessary since Saffron is expen$ive)

Salt; a couple shakes.

Parsley; chopped (I like the curly variety)

Red wine; 3/4 cup for the pot. The rest for you and your guests. 

DIRECTIONS:

1) Bring a pot of the water to boil on the stove top with the soup stock cubes and saffron. Once water boils, add rice. Bring rice to a boil then turn to simmer. 

2) Heat olive oil in Dutch oven over medium high heat. 

3) Open a bottle of red wine and pour yourself a glass.

4) Pour bread crumbs into mixing bowl and coat drumsticks. Put drumsticks into Dutch oven. Chicken needs time to cook, but once both sides of drumsticks are browned, add salt, onions, carrots, celery, coriander and cumin. Cover.

5) Add wine. Cover. The moisture will help imbue the chicken with these flavors and help cook it. 

6) When the meat is falling off the bone, dish into shallow bowls, garnish with fresh parsley, stir rice and dish up.

7) Serve. Voila!

I hope you enjoy this recipe as much as I do. If you make this meal, let me know how it goes!

Bon Appetit!

Working a Miracle, Again

"Perfect timing," I said answering the phone wearing my suit and heels. "I just walked in the door." 

"I'm leaving the studio now," Mr. Wonderful's voice sounded over the phone. "And I've got some friends with me."

"What if I meet you halfway and we all eat at a restaurant?"

"These guys miss home cooked meals."

"Invite them over next weekend and I'll make them something fabulous."

"They heard you can make dinner in 20 minutes and want to see it."

It's true. I had made a delicious shrimp and lemon pasta dinner in a mere 20 minutes for my spouse and his two work colleagues--Brian and Chad. Which to be honest, was a heaven-sent miracle. Evidently, the news of this miracle and its lemony flavor-fulness spread from those two men to all my spouse's contacts at the studio. Miracles are amazing but they do have a downside: after you do one, people start to expect them. All the time. And clearly tonight was no exception in the miracle expectation department.

Miracles also have an upside: after performing one, it's easy to perform it again. After making that shrimp and lemon pasta dish, I could now do it with my eyes closed, which--hey!--would be either another miracle, divine intervention or a serious kitchen fire hazard. Then I got the bad news.

"I'm bringing Brian and Chad," Mr. Wonderful said.

"Oh," my smile faded.

"Frank's coming, too. And he doesn't eat seafood or gluten."

"Oh," my heart sank.

"See you in 20, no, 19 minutes." Then my spouse hung up.

Here's the thing. I'd already served the miraculous shrimp and lemon pasta dish to Brian and Chad so I couldn't make that for them again because what kind of miracle would that be? In the New Testament, Jesus performed 37 miracles such as 1) Healing the sick, 2) Making the deaf speak, and 3) Turning water into wine. In other words, they were all different. Which to be fair, is part of the definition of a miracle: you do something amazing once and that's amazing but then it's a done deal. If you do the same miracle a second time, it's no longer a miracle, instead it's just well-rehearsed like a Shakespeare play, a Penn and Teller performance or a "reality" show. 

Besides, even if I had wanted to repeat that shrimpy miracle, I couldn't because of Frank's dietary limitations. Nope, it had to be a new miracle and I should have started it a minute ago.

Miracle #2 happened in steps:

1) Scanned the pantry for gluten-free (GF) items. Discovered I had lots of GF food like: peanut butter, Jell-O, a stick of butter and some rice. 

2) Jackson the cat heard me open the pantry--where his food is kept--and sauntered into the kitchen to meow for some food. 

3) Grabbed the rice, put a pot of water on the burner.

4) Needed to add some fat to the rice and my options included said peanut butter, Jell-O and butter. Played Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide which to use. Butter won.

5) Jackson sniffed the butter and meowed for some food.

6) Scanned the refrigerator for something to go with the rice. I nixed the salmon filets, the halibut steaks and the tin of salted anchovies. Cursed all fish for being so tasty that I bought and stocked a lot of them in my kitchen to the detriment of other proteins. Cursed self for not having more options. Looked at clock and saw I had 11 minutes. Cursed the clock, time and miracles! Asked for some help pulling off this second miracle.

6) Jackson joined me at the refrigerator, sniffed its contents, and stretched up to the second shelf where he noticed a package of chicken legs and meowed for some food.

7) Of course! I praised my brilliant feline for having the best nose west of the Atlantic Ocean and grabbed the chicken legs. Rolled the chicken legs in rice flour bread crumbs, put them in a Dutch Oven with sliced onions, celery and carrots and more butter on the stove top.

8) Set out a bowl of Lucques olives, another bowl for the pits, and toothpicks. Set the table for five, grabbed a bottle of wine and uncorked it. 

9) Raced to bedroom to change out of my suit and heels. Scanned closet and discovered I had more GF foods in my pantry than I did clothes in my closet to wear for a second miracle. Looked in the mirror and debated changing said clothes. Then decided… nah.

10) Returned to the pantry and opened a tin of cat food for Jackson who meowed and rubbed against my leg. 

Just then, Mr. Wonderful entered with three famished pals. They commented on how good things smelled, how good the wine was and when they actually ate the food, how good the home cooked meal was. The three guests congratulated me on another miracle. Brian and Chad were especially appreciative since they had now witnessed a second miracle in my kitchen. They all deemed the meal delicious. 

I accepted their praise with a gracious smile. Knowing all along, I couldn't have managed it without serious interspecies teamwork from my little, furry helper, Jackson. The cat jumped on my lap and licked his chops. All around it was a solid second miracle.